To the brunette who sent us a picture of herself wearing a yellow two-piece, washing her beagle in a metal tub, attached to an e-mail that said simply, “Sometimes when something’s real dirty, it has to be scrubbed,” we thank you. —J.A.

Jonathan adds: Darling girl, I’d resign my post as Johnny America’s most obtuse film critic for a sunny afternoon laying next to you in an oversized hammock. I imagine us tossing day-glo Nerf products we swipe from the neighbors’ pool to your sweet dog. I would talk of the silly stories I write; you’d shush me, call me a nerd, and kiss my shoulder.

Jenny adds: You’re too much of a hussy exhibitionist to be a regular of this site, who put you up to this?

Derek adds: Jenny, shut up—the girl’s in a bikini.