Johnny America Just Ask James: Ruthenium

Just Ask James: Ruthenium

Have questions about life, liquor, or love? Johnny America is proud to bring you “Just Ask James,” an advice column by James Spillane. Send your puzzles to justaskjames@johnnyamerica.net and let a slightly perverse skiing instructor solve your problems.

James,

What is the atomic weight of Ruthenium, and how can it help me get chicks?

Zach

Dear Zach,

Just tell her that sometimes you feel like Ruthenium and that you have been attacked by halogens, hydroxides and are ready to oxidize yourself explosively.

James

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